The part that stood out was when you put in the yellow slide and how you put in pictures on that yellow slide made people know what you ment in your blog post.
Did you think about add some more words and fulls stops in places to make your writing if you could do that in your next blog people might start to read them more.
Next time you cloud write some more in your blog so that you go up levels in your writing.
Kia ora Zack its Eden from GMS Thanks for commenting on my blog.Thank you for telling me what i need to improve on.next time i will put some more fullstops in.
KIA Ora Eden I'm Hasan from Yaldhurst Model School.
I liked the you shared your emotions when your in the yellow zone Ike disgusted scared frustrated I feel like im in the yellow zone to sometimes. but I get frustrated at roblox for not completing an obby.
The yellow zone blog post brought me back to when I was in the yellow zone I felt so scared because of the dark so yea I was two years old so dont judge me.
Eden Could you please put ore description and I don't like it that much. I think you may add more writing.
Hello edan my name is Ashlee I am a year six from Yaldhurst Model school good job this looks really cool wow maybe next time you could work on saying how these this happen bye for now
Kia ora, I'm Zack from Yaldhurst Model School.
ReplyDeleteThe part that stood out was when you put in the yellow slide and how you put in pictures on that yellow slide made people know what you ment in your blog post.
Did you think about add some more words and fulls stops in places to make your writing if you could do that in your next blog people might start to read them more.
Next time you cloud write some more in your blog so that you go up levels in your writing.
BYEEE ZACK H
Kia ora Zack its Eden from GMS Thanks for commenting on my blog.Thank you for telling me what i need to improve on.next time i will put some more fullstops in.
DeleteFrom Eden
KIA Ora Eden I'm Hasan from Yaldhurst Model School.
ReplyDeleteI liked the you shared your emotions when your in the yellow zone Ike disgusted scared frustrated I feel like im in the yellow zone to sometimes.
but I get frustrated at roblox for not completing an obby.
The yellow zone blog post brought me back to when I was in the yellow zone I felt so scared because of the dark so yea I was two years old so dont judge me.
Eden Could you please put ore description and I don't like it that much. I think you may add more writing.
Why did you make the yellow zone post
Kia ora Hansan!Its Eden from GMS.Thanks for commeting on my blog!Next time ill put some descripotion in to my work.
DeleteFrom Eden.
hi bestie xalia here i like the photo in there and do you get silly when your in the yellow zone bye friend
ReplyDeleteHello edan my name is Ashlee I am a year six from Yaldhurst Model school good job this looks really cool wow maybe next time you could work on saying how these this happen bye for now
ReplyDeleteHello Ashlee it's Eden from GMS thank's for commeting!Next time i'm going to fix the mistakes.
ReplyDelete